Friendships, Acceptance, and the Spiritual Connection
Don’t worry. I know the title of this blog may scare some readers off, but this will not be a “preachy” post. I PROMISE!
I saw some Facebook content about a week ago, and I noticed how one of my FBFs expressed some concern about how another friend (not my FBF) posted reasons for not being able to make it to other peoples’ events and special occasions. The individual stated that he or she has familial priorities, kids, or just may not feel like participating because of how tiring life can be. Now, even though I think that the person was perhaps a little rude with his or her delivery of the blog announcement, I actually understood and “accepted” this point of view. I just read the blog post, and thought to myself, “Okay.” Then, I kept it moving. But, I still felt sorry for my FBF, because there was obviously some level of disappointment. Stuff like this happens all the time. And I think we all just have to learn to accept people where they are. I’m not saying be stupid and let them walk all over you. I’m just saying accept them. That means you do your thing, you let them do theirs, and you thoroughly enjoy moments when you and your friend can share common ground whenever and wherever possible! Friendships should not be forced.
My hardships are few and far between, and most of my struggles these days have become internal… primarily centered about how I see myself and my future developing. I have managed to reach a stage in my life where I experience next to no drama, and I don’t have huge altercations with any of my friends and acquaintances. But still, as with the situation above, I sometimes find myself being a bystander to many incidents involving my friends having altercations with their other friends. Generally, as they speak, I become quiet. I don’t get quiet because I have nothing to say. I get quiet because I want to hear and truly listen to what they have to say. Whenever possible, I also try to listen for key phrases that might suggest they want my opinion about the situation. I don’t stop there however. I go one step further and pay attention to their body language. Thus, if they want my input, I will definitely know it. If not, I will know that as well. In most cases, I have found that most people just want to be heard. They want someone to validate the fact that their feelings have been hurt. Or perhaps they had an opinion about a situation that was not communicated to the other party. Therefore, confiding in someone else about it helps them to cope with the unresolved issue. And I accept that!
Acceptance: That is a powerful word. Believe me; once you begin looking beyond the normalcy of all that you typically experience—or think that you experience—each day, you will accept everything for what it is. That includes your friends.
So now, let me define “spirituality” in the context of this blog post before I generate any confusion for you.
In my own words, I describe spirituality as that portion of reality and universal consciousness—permeating our very existence both physically and mentally—that we cannot fully experience or examine by our mortal point of view and basic sensory perceptions. We can only experience a portion of spirituality through our higher forms of perception, i.e. emotion and thought. Once we begin to proactively (not reactively) utilize the powerful potential inherent to those abilities to understand our friends, we then grow to appreciate them for who they are and where they are in life. We take note of their unique qualities, characteristics, and energy levels. Then, a true connection forms. The connection is so strong that we don’t need to talk to them every day or be with them all the time to be thankful for them. However, when we do connect with them, it is as if they have always been there with us all along!
It is this “spiritual connection,” or lack thereof in some cases, that has helped me tremendously in recent years. Have you ever heard the phrases “go with your gut [feeling]” or “use the spirit of discernment”? These expressions exist because we all know that people can experience the world in inexplicable ways. These are often spiritual experiences!
So how does all of this connect to your experience with your friends? Well, use your “higher self” to accept people where they are. Period. I guarantee that you will have a much better experience of the people around you each day. As far as your friends are concerned, there will be no reason for you to get upset with them if you truly “know” them and can forecast their behavior. And because you will have already accepted them, you will be better prepared for them to come back into your life after major upsets when THEY have learned to accept you and your behavior as well. Acceptance is a wonderful thing. Through acceptance, do you realize that you can actually learn to rejoice in agreeing to disagree with others? Try it!
When spirituality enters the equation, friendship becomes easy. However, also keep in mind that spirituality can also reveal when friendships are not meant to be. Have you ever met someone, and immediately felt as if something wasn’t right? Maybe you have had a long-lasting friendship, but then you begin to notice that your friend is now draining your energy, literally sucking the life out of you. You then begin maintaining a disturbing friendship to your own detriment. You have to let it go! There is nothing wrong with that. You’re “higher self” is simply saying, “Get out of this situation!”
There is sooooo much more that I can blog about on this topic, but I’m deciding to stop it here. Besides, I think this is just enough information for you to positively impact your relationships with people going forward. There is no need for arguments or remorse, unless you want more of the same negative drama in your life. Don’t fall victim to attracting negative energy to yourself. Instead, focus on reflection, self-improvement, and spiritual growth! These actions exist along a path of enlightenment, and you will surely benefit from them.
Brought to you by:
Daymond E. Lavine